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My baby kanchen died in my arms last night

3/26/2016

7 Comments

 
     ​If you’re not a dog/pet lover, you will probably want to bypass this post. While I’ve been working to get Destiny’s released, I’ve had a few other major emergencies going on in my life. One of them is making sure I have new employment, ever since I’ve learned my job is going away in the near future. The other, is that one of my boys, a lab/border collie mix, came down with cancer and became very sick. Both have recently played major roles in my life and have played their parts in extending Destiny’s release date further than initially planned.
     Not everyone is a dog lover. Not everyone looks at other species as being relevant. Maybe this lack of empathy for other species comes from some humans’ being so tribal that can’t see another race as being worth consideration, or maybe these people lack empathy to such an extreme that they cannot relate to even other human beings outside of their family, city or even country, let alone make the jump of caring about another species. Whatever it is, it’s something that crosses my mind when I see the inhumanity some people have towards each other and the species we share this planet with. It’s a topic that I plan to cover more in books three and four of the Last Paladin Series.
     The biggest thought I had for the series is exploring the difference between long lived species and shorter lived species, and the friendship and love relationships that can form between these different species. The pain that that is felt for the loss of a loved one when their shorter lifespan has ended. The joy and wisdom that is shared and given from that shorter lifespan relationship that goes beyond the precepts of one’s race and culture. The relationships that can be formed at times between that of simply two souls. In this way I would like to keep the life of Kanchen alive and share his story, but in an Urban Fantasy style.
     Kanchen and Rowin are two brothers who became part of my life after hurricane Katrina swept through Florida in August of 2005. At the time they were only around twelve months old, a guesstimate given by the vet who first gave them their shots after my friend Mike’s Mom found them running around in the middle of a major highway the day after Katrina came through. I instantly fell in love with them and they became a part of my life as of that time.
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     ​This time period was just after my epiphany that allowed me to leave the abusive relationships I’d been a part of for all of my life, up to a point shortly before that in time, and to make life into something amazing and special that I lived every day. Between traipsing all over Florida to traveling to Europe and visiting France, Germany, Poland and Hungry, together Kanchen, Rowen and I had one fantastic adventure after another and just enjoyed living life. While both brothers stole my heart away, Kanchen was always at my side and loved me to death. Except for a very short time period during their teenage years, I never needed lines for them. I’ve always communicated well with dogs, but the shared understanding I’ve had with Kanchen and Rowin bordered on telepathic.
     In many ways our relationship is part child, part best friend and part life companion. No matter how old or full of gray hair Kanchen and Rowin are, they will forever be my babies. Most people cannot believe how intelligent and personable they both are when they meet them for the first time. How much they are like little people. But then, I’ve never treated them other than little people.
     Right now I worry that Rowin will be too depressed without his brother. They’ve always have been together for their entire life. The longest they were separated was when they flew to Europe. All that we can do is give Rowin lots of love and help him through this difficult time in his and our lives.
My family and I thought that Kanchen was on the upper side of the curve for surviving his cancer. Our recent CT scan showed that the tumor was shrinking and responding well to the chemo treatments we’d been giving him. Unfortunately, yesterday a vein burst in his tumor and he died shortly thereafter. I was covered in my baby’s blood as he bleed to death and there wasn’t anything I could do to save him. Needless to say, yesterday and today have been rough for us all. I spent the day looking over some of the old pictures of Kanchen with my wife as we remembered and missed him. For those of you who are interested I’ve attached them below.
     I’d hoped to get most of Flight cleaned up this weekend. I want to have a cleaned up copy uploaded before I release Destiny. I did have a chance to work on this a lot last week, but so far this weekend has been a bust. Maybe tomorrow and Monday I can work on it some before I have to head back to work. If anything it will help distract me from the ache in my heart. Either way Destiny will be released in April. For those of you whom are anxiously awaiting the release, I’ll do my best to make it sooner rather than later. Hope everyone has a wonderful Easter. 
       ************ I love you Kanchen and you will be missed. ************
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7 Comments
Stephanie Martin
3/26/2016 10:21:12 am

I'm so sorry to hear the sad news. Sending you lots of love and positive thoughts from FL. <3, Steph and Seb XOXOX

Reply
Jason Cheek link
3/26/2016 12:11:01 pm

Thanks guys. You know how awesome Kanchin was. Still can't stop crying today.

Reply
Angela Abramczyk
3/26/2016 06:18:21 pm

Oh, wow. Jason...I cannot express how sorry I am. I love you guys and am sending healing energy your and Rowin's way.

Reply
Jason Cheek link
3/27/2016 12:13:02 am

Thanks Angela. I keep asking myself if we could have done more. We got caught up on a major holiday without the possibility of speaking with our normal doctor and Kanchin bleeding out over a quart of blood from his nose from the tumor. We still wonder if we couldn't have maybe held off until we could have spoken with a real doctor that understood our situation better. The second guessing is a killer. Worst even than feeling like he's just in the other room and will be back in a moment.

Reply
Mang-Yee
3/26/2016 11:37:50 pm

Jason my condolences. I know this loss all too well. All dogs go to heaven. You gave him a great life!

Reply
Jason Cheek link
3/27/2016 12:16:27 am

Thanks Mang-Yee. The family is a freaking wreck. As I said to Angela above, we keep asking ourselves if there were more we could have done. Our boys have a great life with us, that I know. Still we are on that "could we have done more" phase. Either way every morning my baby isn't here and it hurts. Thank god I don't have to be into work until Tuesday. That gives me time to get through my grief somewhat before I have to be into work.

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Vincent link
4/27/2019 04:17:58 pm

This was so touching, thank you for sharing it.

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